As most of you know by now, I never intended on having so many kids. I come from a family of just 2 kids. My brother and I. We have never gotten along. I've been told we did when we were really little, but I'm not convinced:) My husband also just has a half brother. He's 8 years older so they weren't particularly close. As the story goes we had 4, then adopted. Thoughts of having a 6th biological child didn't happen. Chris had a vasectomy so it wasn't even talked about. Of course 10 years later I was pregnant with our little miracle baby Aurelia and couldn't have been happier. But I was also done!
I had been having babies for 16 years and was physically tired. I injured my hip during delivery of #3 and had never been the same. After I had Aurelia I got an IUD until chris could have another vasectomy (poor guy:)) I nursed Aurelia around the clock and never got my period. When she was around 10 months I woke up one day to a familiar feeling. I told myself, there was no way and went off to work. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was pregnant, even though I knew it was highly unlikely... again!
Aurelia and I dropped Nevara off at school and stopped at the CVS next to my work to buy a home pregnancy test. We then walked over to work to start our day. While walking over I noticed gas company trucks parked in front. I unlocked the doors and was overwhelmed by the smell of gas. I quickly closed the doors and ran around to the back of the store to see what was going on. I was told, there was a leak and it would be fixed within the hour but that I couldn't go back in the store till then.
At this point I was so disappointed that I couldn't go in the store and take the test! I took Aurelia back to CVS and took the test in their bathroom. Within seconds there were 2 pink lines staring back at me and for the first time in my life I experienced mixed emotions while confronted with a positive result. I immediately felt overwhelmed and started crying. How could I do this again? How would the older kids feel? How will we afford another baby?
I was terrified and also a tiny bit happy. I had no doubt I could love another baby, I was just so tired. I went to my car to call Chris and wait out the gas leak. When he picked up the phone I explained to him what was going on with the leak. Then I blurted out "and oh yeah, I'm pregnant!" He started laughing and was immediately so excited. He kept telling me how weird I was for starting the conversation with the gas leak. I was not myself.
We decided to keep my pregnancy a secret till we felt the timing was right. I knew my parents would be a little bummed since they already worry that I take on too much and work too much. I mostly worried that the older girls would be pissed. 6 weeks later we had plans to go to Hawaii and I thought telling them right before might make it easier.
I'll never forget, we sat the girls down and I told them we had a surprise. I told them they were going to be big sisters again. There responses were as different as their personalities. A couple were excited, a couple cried and a couple were down right pissed! They all thought the surprise was that I booked a luau or something else fun, not another baby! There were some big emotions! One of them locked herself in her room and wouldn't talk to me till the next day. She actually remained mad most of my pregnancy.
I decided to text my parents so they could let it sink in before talking to them. I told them to think about my feelings and even if they weren't happy to pretend they were when they felt ready to call me! It was honestly so much drama! It's amazing how such a wonderful thing can bring out so many interesting emotions. I was pretty upset that I actually was made to feel guilty or irresponsible for my pregnancy. Its odd how people make things about themselves.
Of course I had to find out the gender at the 1st opportunity, so I booked an ultrasound at 16 weeks. My husband always said that I was having a girl with each baby, but because this baby was so unexpected he was sure it was a boy. I never knew what I was having with all my previous pregnancies, but for the 1st time I felt certain that it would be a girl! And of course she was! The girls were of course thrilled with another sister since the thought of a boy was awful to them!
The name Eudora was on my list when Nevara was born, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right for Aurelia either, but it felt right this time. I think it was partly because I didn't want to stress about a name so I chose it and never thought about it again. Of course that it means "gift without limits"made it perfect! Eudora was due on February 5th, but I knew she'd come late since all the others did. I not so secretly hoped she'd be born on the 9th since I was born in November 9th. Of course since every last thing about her is meant to be, she was born at 1:44 am on the 9th of February. She is the perfecting ending to my journey of having babies.
She is the most kind little soul. My only pudgy baby. My only one to not take a pacifier, to never drink from a bottle, and to never eat puréed baby food! She has bucked most trends as far as the other kids and is her own unique little angel. She is such a Mommy's girl and especially loves Aurelia and Nevara. I am completely obsessed and so thankful that the universe knew I needed her. Happy Birthday Udes (as I call her)! You are the best thing that I never expected!!!